Nobody understands my pain

Seriously.. i am certain 99% of my friends dun even understand how it feels like to experience a ligament tear..

have you ever felt that something that you loved taken away in just a flash?

As i think back to last August when i tore my ligament.. words can't even describe the pain i went through.. the pain of losing everything that i loved at that time.. the pain that i had to endure.. *sob*

nobody knows that i cried almost every night thinking of the doctor telling me that i'll never play competitive basketball in the near future..

what i had to go through when i tore my ligament:

1. I had to go through the pain of tearing a ligament.. which is 1000000000000 times more painful than cramping..
2. For 7 months.. i couldn't even jog..
3. I lost the ability to jump, run and more other things that many overlook.. =(
4. i gained 15kg
5. I lost lots of self-confidence

when i saw guys jumping standing broad jump.. i just laughed at them because they didn't jump anywhere near i jumped before my injury.. it's all just self-denial.. i thought by laughing it off.. i can escape the fact that i'll never jump for 1 whole year.. i jumped 272cm last year! and now? not even 180..

and what? some insensitive people who heard me laugh at them went around telling people what a brag i am.. FUCKING CHEE BYE.. i just wish i could cut open your knee and break your ligaments into half.. all when you're awake!

what the hell.. i'm just being mean.. just now.. i was playing basketball.. then while driving into the lane.. i got bumped in the shoulders and my knee just gave way.. i lay on the floor in pain..

hendrie.. now you're just a weak loser and you'll never ever get to play basketball competitively.. you'll just go to army and do the minimum.. that's what your life is going to be all about..

to those who still bother to read this loser's blog.. please leave a tag.. then i'll know who still appreciates me.. thanks.. *hugs*